Friday, 12 September 2014

Wedding Speech Nevena and Stephen Montgomery: 'Look for the Rainbow'

In dedication to a lovely couple and because of the honour they bestowed upon me to conduct their wedding and because I was asked to make the speech available, here's a text-version (slightly extended and/or edited) of my wedding speech for Nevena and Stephen.


‘Look for the Rainbow’

Today is a great day, because we celebrate the union of two lovely people, Nevena and Stephen. Some asked whether I was able to officiate this ceremony; well, this is my first wedding; I did, however, officiate three funerals already, so nothing to worry about =;-)  

Let me start by quoting a movie, a quote Stephen, impressively, knows by heart: 
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.’
I’m not sure about Stephen’s ‘good fortune’ in terms of money, but I think we all agree that he is fortunate to have a ‘good wife’!

As many would know, this quote is the opening sentence of the book Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Indeed, the story of Nevena and Stephen have a few parallels…

Some might have felt that it took them a long time to take this step of marrying each other, but—better late and right, then fast and wrong. ‘McDonald’s marriages’ (like fast-food) don’t last, nor are they healthy. Good food takes healthy ingredients, serious preparation and enough time in order to be tasty!

But now, as you took this important step of marrying, we trust you both can say with Jane Austen, ‘I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve. But you do deserve the best and all of us wish you the best.

And even if, perhaps, certain things were difficult at times, here’s a good philosophy also found in Jane Austen’s book.
You must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.’ 
In other words, forget the bad stuff, forgive the mistakes and remember only the good things!

Finding the right person and doing things right is crucial to life and happiness. We all admire your faithful love and patience towards each other on your journey to this special wedding day, and we only wish you the very best.

Perhaps the weather this week reflects this precious union of a British–Bulgarian Covenant (the BBC): a bit of rain, a bit of sunshine, or perhaps, we can say, British rain and Bulgarian sunshine. Now, whenever you see rain meet sunshine, look for the rainbow! Always, ‘Look for the rainbow.’ Marriage contains both rain and sunshine, good times and difficult times, but we must always look for the rainbow! ‘Look for the rainbow’

The rainbow is God’s symbol of His everlasting love towards humanity despite our failure and shortcomings. This love should be reflected in our marriages. Marriage is a covenant commitment, a life-long union of love, acceptance and forgiveness. No marriage works without genuine love and gracious forgiveness.

Nevena and Stephen are both Christians and have the same basis for their marriage. They believe that God brought them together and that His Word, the Bible, is their guide in life. This marriage is, therefore, a divine appointment, not a human coincident.

Having a happy marriage brings tremendous stability and security to life, especially for children. Children need this secure environment in order to flourish and develop into responsible and good people, and such that can make a positive contribution to society and the world. And certainly, there is a need for more people who bring peace and healing to our suffering world. We need people who are part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Ecclesiaties 4:9–12 
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the now who falls when there is not another to life him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is mpg quickly torn apart.

Two are better than one. For they help each other, support each other, and understand each other. And they forgive each other, forget but learn, and continue without regret.

The prophet asked, ‘How can two walk together unless they agree?’ (Amos 3:3). Unity is essential and it is found in the love of God and the forgiveness of Christ.

But it’s not all that easy. After over ten years of marriage and four children, I find being a good husband and father the most important, yet at times the most challenging role in life. Lawyers and doctors study for years in order to master their life-long professions, yet how much do we prepare for our life-long commitments of marriage and parenting?

It’s not all that easy, but we must make it work—and if that biblical covenant commitment is the basis, combined with love, forgiveness and patience, it will work.

A comedian said something like this: ‘marriage is two people working out problems they wouldn’t have if they weren’t married.’ So, what’s the point, some might ask?

The point is, that two are better than one. Loneliness is a terrible thing. God didn’t make us to be lonely, but to live in honest, meaningful relationships of trust, support and understanding. 

Today, as in the time of Jesus 2,000 years ago, people discussed marriage with a wrong motive: they sought a way ‘to get out’ of marriage, but Jesus showed them the way ‘to stay in.’ Jesus wants marriage to work and reflect the love of God. Jesus referred people back to God’s creation order: marriage is a divine institution of a man and a woman created in the image of God, brought together by God and living together under His guidance and counsel.

Marriage is to reflect the love of God towards humanity, it serves as the example of partnership and commitment to children growing up around parents. Love is the centre of marriage because love is the essence of God’s being—and the solution to humanity’s many problems.

Mother Theresa said, ‘If you judge people, you have no time to love them.’ In reverse order, we might say, If you love people you don’t have time to judge them. ‘Judge not,’ said history’s greatest Teacher of Love, Jesus Christ (Mt 7:1). Through her life and deeds, Mother Theresa showed the world how to truly love with God’s love—may her memory be blessed, and may we follow her example. Working in the midst of terrible suffering, Mother Teresa kept looking for the rainbow as she served the poor and needy empowered by God’s love. We too must, ‘Look for the rainbow.’

The Beatles sung, ‘All you need is love,’ but they meant a hippy or jappy love, that is based only on emotion or the spur of the moment, a life of human origin, not with God as its divine source. But what we need, and what the world needs, is a divine, strong love, that is selfless, sacrificial, and giving.

Here is what love is: love never fails, love is patience, love is kind; it is not arrogant, it seeks not its own; love is giving, love is sharing, love is generous; love forgives and doesn’t hold on to a wrong suffered against another; it never gives up; it rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things—love never fails; ultimately, there remains faith, hope and love—and love is the greatest of these three.

And whenever we fall short of this divine love, we can simply turn back to God and receive His love from Him so as to be able to give it to others, first to our family and then all others around us. Therefore, ‘Look for the rainbow.’

1 John 4:19 
we love, because God first loved us.

Nevena and Stephen, you have lovely families and plenty of good friends around you, who love you, support you and believe in you. We are always here for you! Never forget that.

And always remember to look for the rainbow, the sign of God’s everlasting love for humanity despite our failures and shortcomings.

‘Look for the rainbow.’

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